Why Does My Cat Sleep With Me and Not My Husband?

It is common for cat parents to be baffled when they realize that their cats prefer one person in the house to the other, especially when it comes to where they choose to sleep. If you are wondering why does my cat sleep with me and not my husband, (or the other way around), there is a simple and logical explanation. And it is not that you are doing anything wrong.

But before we even get around to answering, ‘why does my cat sleep with me and not my husband?’ (Or vice versa), it is important we go through a different question first.

Should Your Cat Sleep With You?

In all honesty, this is a very personal choice and decision. I personally do not mind my cat sleeping with me on my bed. Though I am alive to the fact that there are some cat parents who loathe the idea (and this does not make them bad cat parents).

As you contemplate about this, you should note that there are some pros and cons to letting your cat sleep with you. It is important to consider these pros and cons and decide which side suits you and your feline friend.

Pros of Sleeping With You Cat

It is Comfortable and Warm

You will both benefit from the heat generated when you share a bed. Also, if you have done it before, you can agree with the fact that there is nothing cosier and relaxing than snuggling with your cat through the night.

It Acts as a Stress Reliever

If you are like me, you probably have long and stressful days dealing with clients and customers, some of whom are rude and out to turn your day into a living hell. The moment the day ends and you walk through your front door, there is nothing you would like better than to relax on your chair or crawl into bed (after a hot shower) with your cat, snuggle as you watch your favourite TV show, movie or read a book. Cats can prove to be great stress relievers. Heck there are some cat parents who believe that their cats can sense their emotions and help through tough situations.


Before got into marriage, you spend a lot of time with your lover and friend. Most times you did not even speak to each other but nonetheless, you still wanted to spend time with each other. The time spent, even in silence worked to strengthen your bond and made your relationship stronger.

The same case applies to cats and their owners. The more time they spend together, the greater the bond grows. Cats, like dogs, are very loyal animals and can easily become your best friend. Yes, dogs are not the only animals capable of this. And the notion that cats are independent animals and do not like spending time with their owners or do not value attention from their owners is misguided.

Cons of Sleeping With Your Cat

Dirty Feet

When your cat is not sleeping during the day, it is outside exploring the great outdoors. Cats are adventurous in nature. When they are outside, their paws bring in all kinds of dirt and mud. Also, it could be toileting outside or using a litter tray and transfer the dirt on to your bed. Just thinking about this is gross. Speaking of litter trays, you should have only the best. For this, consider the following;

Cats Do Not Sleep the Entire Night

In addition to being adventurous, cats also are nocturnal. This is to mean that they tend to be more active during the night than during the day. As such, sleeping with your cat could end up with you having a disrupted sleep as your cat goes and comes all through the night s it pleases.


If you have a cat, you probably do not have acute cat related allergies. But while you may not have allergies now, it does not mean that they cannot develop later. Science reveals that spending a lot of time with your cat, and in close contact such as when you are sleeping, can cause you to develop allergies you did not have before.

With that out of the way, we can now proceed to answer, ‘why does my cat sleep with me and not my husband?’

How do Cats Choose Where They Will Sleep?

First things first, You need to establish if the cat is choosing the place it is sleeping on because they love the specific spot or just because it is close to you, its favourite person.

There are several things that cats use to choose where they will sleep. Some of these factors are:

  • Comfort
  • Calmness
  • Safety
  • Warmth

If your husband is the kind of person who loves to fidget in their sleep, your cat is well aware of this and is the reasons it prefers sleeping next to you and not your husband. Cats do not like having their sleep interrupted just like humans do not like it. Before they settled on you, your cat probably sleeping with your husband but it was disturbed all night long.

Also, if your side of the bed is closer to an open space like a window or an open door, your cat will be more inclined to sleep with you rather than your husband.

Also, cats love feeling secure and will as such prefer sleeping close to the wall where they are 100% sure nothing will sneak up on them from behind.

These are just some of the factors you will need to consider a you try to understand just ‘why does my cat sleep with me and not my husband?’

How Do Cats Choose Their Favourite Human?

Most cat parents agree with the old adage that cats choose us, we do not choose them. This statement might make cats to appear and sound like they are alien. But nonetheless, it has some truth in it as cats are inclined to show affection to persons who feed them and interacts with them most.

If that is you, it should not come as a shock that your cat prefers sleeping with you to your husband. Cat and humans bonds are created through interaction and this is what majorly directs who your cat prefers.

Speaking of human and cat bonds, you should note that different cats have different personalities. Courtesy of this, there are varying preferences of interaction.

There are cats that love to be left alone, some love to be fussed and other still, love exchanging head bunts. The more time you spend to learn your cat’s preferences and pet it as it likes, the stronger the bond will be and the hire the chances of your cat sleeping next to your husband.

What Can You Do to Make Your Cat Sleep Next to Your Husband?

Now that we have answered the main question, why does my cat sleep with me and not my husband? The next question is how can you get to remedy this situation?

Well, first, you should understand that you cannot really make your cat do what it does not want to do. With regards to sleeping next to your husband, the best you can do is train it and entice it to your husband’s side of the bed. You can do this by creating a cat friendly spot next to your husband and help your husband understand your cat so as to build a bond.

This process may take a while, but it will in the end be worth your while.

Bottom Line

The biggest mistake you can make is not earning your cat’s personality and how it loves to interact. This could easily destroy your bond and make your cat be cold towards you. Learn your cat’s likes and dislikes and work on growing your bond.

Rebecca Welters

Yes, I am that weird cat lady with 200 cats and live in the darkest corner of the city where no one dares to go! Joking! But I am a cat lover and have 2 Ragdoll cats called Toby, he's 3 years old and Dory, she's 8 years old. I'm 36 years old and live in the quiet town of Washington.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 0 comments

Leave a Reply:

two × 5 =